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Tis the Season for 1-on-1 Coaching!

Tis the season where we start thinking a bit more than other months about how we want to make the most of the year ahead of us. How do you want to grow? What new habits do you want to form? What questions have been haunting you for far too long? What do you want to accomplish this year?

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Multi-Site Church Youth Ministry Coaching Program cohort

Youth Ministry Coaching Program - Multi-site Cohort

by Mark Oestreicher

It’s no secret that I love The Youth Cartel’s coaching program (called the Youth Ministry Coaching Program, or YMCP). And it’s probably not news to you—if you follow the Cartel at all—that our growing number of program grads love it also. We have more than 300 grads, and currently have about 75 people in seven cohorts meeting all over the country.

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You’re just getting started

It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of college athletics.

At the gooey center of every college team is the coach. The college coach is far more important to the success of the program than at the professional level. For example, he/she sets the tone for everything from recruiting to player development to academic support to nutrician to training to recruiting and, most visibly, to performance on the field. Really good ones are also involved in fundraising, masterminding the press, and scheduling.

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Introducing 1-on-1 Coaching

Every now and then you need someone outside your daily world to look at your life and ministry with fresh eyes. Sometimes you feel stuck in your current reality, other times there’s a problem you aren’t sure how to navigate. Sometimes you are wondering what’s your next step forward. Other times you’re experiencing a ceiling that you’re not sure how to break through.

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Helping youth thrive

It’s not often that you encounter people with the passion for youth of Peter Benson. His whole TED Talk titled ‘How youth thrive’ shows his love for young people and it encouraged me.

Peter Benson is not a youth pastor however; he’s a psychologist who does research amongst young people on their ‘spark’. By ‘spark’ he means a skill, a cause or a quality that makes people thrive, that makes them happy and whole.

In his talk, he shares some interesting statistics. Right now, there are 80 million young people aged 8-18 in the US. But only 25% of these 80 million are on a pathway to human thriving (meaning being happy, connected, kind, contributing, etc.) and the rest has fallen behind. They are lost, confused, medicated and alone. Those statistics should give anyone involved in youth work food for thought. Continue reading Helping youth thrive

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A Lesson from Brian Kelly

Brian Kelly Screaming

Growing up about a mile from the campus of Notre Dame and being a lifelong fan of their football team, my Irish eyes have been smiling all season long. (For non-college-football fans, Notre Dame is playing January 7th for their first national title since 1988.)

Watching college football has always been a distraction from my ministry life. It’s one thing easy to compartmentalize and be unabashedly excited about. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I often overlay my fall ministry schedule against the Notre Dame schedule so as to miss lesser games for retreats and protect more important Saturday’s from ministry stuff.

But this year I actually learned something about youth ministry from my favorite team’s coach. While not exactly a traditional youth worker, Brian Kelly is a Catholic man who has spent his 20+ year coaching career investing in the lives of adolescent men.

Brian Kelly’s first 3 years at Notre Dame may become a case study in handling crisis and controversy only to discover first love all over again. (Something many youth workers deal with.) First, there was the horrible accident which resulted in the death of a member of the video team. Then, in the first game of 2011, he embarrassed himself on national television by very clearly cursing out his players after playing poorly. (Alumni were not pleased to see it replayed on ESPN over and over again.) Later in that same season, he inadvertently created further problems amongst his players by talking to the media about “his guys” being more committed than his predecessors. All season long, 2011 was marked by mistakes and turnovers that cost them games.

It all started to spin out of control over the summer when 2 players were arrested in South Bend at a party. One player pushed a cop and threatened him. On top of that he didn’t have a clear choice as a starting quarterback and they were facing their toughest schedule in years.

As a fan, I was prepared for this to be last year of his tenure as coach. I liked Brian Kelly. Everyone did. But Notre Dame isn’t the kind of place that cares much about moral victories. 

I had no idea that between year two and year three Brian Kelly had called the biggest audible of his life.

Kelly made every hire with the intention of spending more time with his players. Last winter, when he might have been driving to Chicago or Detroit for an alumni meeting, he held Monday meetings with his team. No assistant coaches, no support staff, just a head coach and his players.

“It kind of gave us a chance to get to know him a little better, and for him to get to know us,” offensive tackle Zack Martin said. “[Before the meetings,] I don’t think it was something that I thought, ‘Oh, I wish I had this.’ After he started it, people realized: Oh yeah, it’s nice to get to know your head coach on a more personal level, not just on the football field.”



Faced with two lackluster years… knowing that another one would just result in him getting fired… Brian Kelly did the most obvious, yet least likely thing imaginable: He got to know his players. 

I think a lot of us face a similar problem. Our roles have a tendency to pull more and more of our attention away from students. We justify that as “selling our vision” and “representing the students voice.” But, before too long, we fall into the habit of becoming advocates to strangers. We barely know our students… but we represent them all the time.

The tension is there. We think that if we create a great environment for our students that great things will just happen because of our leadership.

But, in reality the one thing our students need more than represented to the rest of the church… is us.

We need to focus on our first love, investing in the lives of teenagers. We need to fight against the seemingly gravitational pull to do other stuff. And we need to make sure we know our students and they know us.

It’s simple. But like all simple things… it’s just not easy.