I Am Not a Slut
should be required reading for anyone working with teenage girls, or students in general actually. It's an eye-opening look into the murky world of teenage sex, especially how girls/women are perceived.The author focuses on the term 'slut' which is often used by both boys/guys and girls to describe girls. She shows how girls are supposed to walk a narrow line between being too much of a prude and too slutty, while being bombarded in the media by 'role models' who get away with being slutty (Miley Cyrus to name an example).With countless personal stories, it becomes clear how much girls can suffer from the label 'slut', especially when it's completely undeserved. The role of social media is discussed of course, where 'slut-shaming' has sunken to new depths. Infamous cases like the Steubenville rape are described, where the girl who was raped was being called slut by others online. the list of girls who recently killed themselves after being slut-shamed chilled me to the core.
I Am Not a Slut also shows how hesitant girls are to say no to unwanted sexual advances, out of fear of being called a prude. At the same time, it made crystal clear how reluctant women are to label non-consensual sex 'rape'. If girls themselves aren't clear on what constitutes rape or not, if they themselves aren't clear on the power they have to say no and enforce this no, we still have a lot of work to do.This book has given me many new insights into the double standard between boys and girls when it comes to sex and the many, many issues that flow from that. Obviously, the book is not written from a Christian perspective, which means you'll come across some blunt descriptions and statements that will run counter to your belief system and convictions. Still, it shows the magnitude of this problem for girls—and it gives inspiration to what we as youth workers can do to turn this tide.[Check out our Let's talk about Sex series for more posts on this topic!]
